My girlfriends and I were out at a bar on a Thursday night. I was studying at the University of Iowa and had just broken up with my boyfriend of two and a half years. Of course, we were going out to get our drink on.
My friends kept telling me this really cute guy was staring at me. I looked at him, standing at the bar, and saw he was wearing a superhero t-shirt—which should have been the first clue he wasn't right for me.
But he was attractive, so I thought I'd let his t-shirt choice slide. We made eye contact and he came up to talk to me. He was very mature and immediately asked me out on a real date, which was different from the college boys I was used to.
We exchanged numbers and I went on with my night with my girlfriends. The following day he texted me and we made plans for a date on the following Friday—despite the fact that I couldn't remember his name for the life of me.
He had said that he played college football, so my six best friends, who were my roommates in college, spent hours online with me trying to find out where he played football. Back then, social media wasn't as prevalent but we eventually found him.
The date, which happened to be two days before Valentine's Day, rolled around and he took me to some nice restaurant in Iowa City. I got into the car and saw he had bought me a huge bouquet of flowers and edible arrangements as a Valentine's Day gift.
Everything went great; I made sure to end the date early because it was Friday and I was going out to the bars with my friends.
When I arrived, they all gushed over the flowers and the edible arrangements before asking about how the date went. I told them it went well, but that I had no idea whether I would see him again.
That evening, he texted and asked to see me. So I decided with my friends and my sister, who was visiting, to meet up with him. They loved him. Every one of them raved about how nice he was and how much attention he paid to what they were saying.
The following day he texted and asked when we could go out on our next date.
But, for some reason, I did not want to go. I had an odd gut feeling about him. He didn't really do anything strange that made me feel that way, it was just my intuition telling me that something was off.
I ended up telling him that I didn't think we would work out—we just were not a good match.
He was confused as to why but accepted that I didn't want to date him, until a week or two later, while we were out on a bar crawl, when I received a text from his number.
I can't believe you would do this. You're a terrible person
I texted the number back, telling him that I hadn't done anything wrong simply because I didn't want to go on another date with him.
Then I received a reply.
This is his wife. How dare you say that? I can't believe you even went on one date with him.
My heart dropped into my stomach. I immediately felt empathy for her and the situation. I wanted to help in any way that I could.
I texted her back and apologized, explaining that I had no idea he was married. She called me and asked whether I could send her all of the messages between us, which I gladly did.
By the end of the conversation she was thanking me and told me this was the push she needed to finally leave him. She had two sons and he was their stepdad. Around a year later I connected with her on Facebook and found she had divorced him.
I felt proud of her—for sticking up for herself and not letting a man dictate her life.
Women out there, if you have a gut feeling about somebody, listen to it. It is more likely that it is right than not. I believe your body can teach you things about people before you even learn them.
Taylor Mathis is an on-air host and betting analyst. You can follow her on TikTok @taylormathis117.
All views expressed in this article are the author's own.
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